Reigning cats. Tired dogs.

Hope and fear: they swirl around in equal proportions as we approach our top-of-the-ladder clash against the Cats.

Hope: because that's what Bevo Our Saviour and his troops have instilled into us, confidence, belief and pride. Faith in the incredible resilience Our Boys have shown to win nine matches, hold a tenacious grip on a top four spot and withstand an appalling run with injury.

Fear: because we're playing...Geelong.

I can't quite escape a mental image of the Geelong players, the ultimate professionals, assembling at their home ground. They slap each other on the back, calm and ruthless, ready to cruise in formation down the Princes' Highway. They leap in unison onto their gleaming Harley-Davidsons, engines thrumming powerfully, confident of their ability to banish their Bulldogs' opponents into obscurity and wreck any hint of premiership pretensions. Again.

I'm not fooled by the baby faces of their two leaders out in front of the squad, sporting mirrored sunglasses and blue and white striped bandanas. Beneath the choirboy appearances of Patrick Dangerfield and Joel Selwood, as they lead their destructive forces towards Etihad, are a pair of seriously mean bad-asses.

The geelong team cruise down the Princes Highway en route to a top of the ladder clash with the Western Bulldogs.

Just what is it about Geelong? 

It feels like they're always there, to beat up on us in finals. A check of the history books shows that that's because, well, they ARE always there, to beat up on us in finals.

We haven't exactly been regulars at the pointy end of the season over our 90-odd years in the competition. So surely it's a statistical anomaly that we've encountered them 10 times in the 45 finals we've played. (This is four more than any other rival). 

And, embarrassingly, only twice in those 10 encounters, all played at the MCG, have we emerged victorious.

Overall, in our time in the VFL/AFL, we've played them 155 times and won only 56 times; our recent performances have continued this lopsided imbalance. The last time we beat Geelong was, in fact, in 2009. I've got a hazy memory of this match, where we met them in the second last round of the season. We'd been in terrific from, but needed to win to seal top four and even more so, to prove that we were a serious flag threat, and that the Cats (who laughably enough were viewed as on the slide) were no longer our nemesis.

Amid the jubilation when we actually despatched them, was some confident malarkey and trash-talking about the fact our victory also ensured that we would play them in the first week of the finals. Bring 'em on! some strident (and perhaps naively inexperienced) Dogs' fans cried. (Not me: quite apart from my innate Tragician psyche, memories of embarrassing, 10 goal capitulations in finals in the '90s, and the Billy Brownless after-the-siren catastrophe, mean that apart from You Know Who from South Australia, they are the team I most dread facing). But now, so the theory went, the Cats were ageing, past their best. They'd lost their premiership hunger. Ripe for the picking.

Perhaps there would be no need for a Tragician blog if the seasoned professionals from Geelong, who've long since lost their reputation for quirky flakiness, had just played out their designated roles in this scenario. But of course they defeated us. We buckled yet again on the big stage; the men from Geelong went on to win another flag.

But all this is the past (do I hear you say it would be, if I didn't keep bringing it up). In a bracing pep talk, I remind myself that Bevo Our Saviour undoubtedly has strategies in place to counter the Curse of the Cats. Sure, he's said he has no plans to tag Dangerfield and Selwood (gulp), but he's just foxing, right?

I rummage for a few more points on the 'hope' side of the ledger: many of our tormentors of the past are retired (half of them are actually Bulldog coaching assistants; surely they are able to help Bevo plot and scheme their former team's downfall).

And are Geelong really travelling that well? They have lost this year to Carlton (smirk) and Collingwood (outright chuckle). Maybe they've reverted to that quirky flakiness again.

As for Dangerfield and Selwood; well, we've got a more than handy midfield too. Maybe THEIR fans are sitting anxiously on the train journey to Melbourne, wringing their hands, asking each other in slightly hysterical tones: Let's hope Chris Scott has got a plan to counter Bont and String. SURELY we've got a plan for Bont and String??

​ust what is it about Geelong? 

It feels like they're always there, to beat up on us in finals. A check of the history books shows that that's because, well, they ARE always there, to beat up on us in finals.

We haven't exactly been regulars at the pointy end of the season over our 90-odd years in the competition. So surely it's a statistical anomaly that we've encountered them 10 times in the 45 finals we've played. (This is four more than any other rival). 

And, embarrassingly, only twice in those 10 encounters, all played at the MCG, have we emerged victorious.

Overall, in our time in the VFL/AFL, we've played them 155 times and won only 56 times; our recent performances have continued this lopsided imbalance. The last time we beat Geelong was, in fact, in 2009. I've got a hazy memory of this match, where we met them in the second last round of the season. We'd been in terrific from, but needed to win to seal top four and even more so, to prove that we were a serious flag threat, and that the Cats (who laughably enough were viewed as on the slide) were no longer our nemesis.

Amid the jubilation when we actually despatched them, was some confident malarkey and trash-talking about the fact our victory also ensured that we would play them in the first week of the finals. Bring 'em on! some strident (and perhaps naively inexperienced) Dogs' fans cried. (Not me: quite apart from my innate Tragician psyche, memories of embarrassing, 10 goal capitulations in finals in the '90s, and the Billy Brownless after-the-siren catastrophe, mean that apart from You Know Who from South Australia, they are the team I most dread facing). But now, so the theory went, the Cats were ageing, past their best. They'd lost their premiership hunger. Ripe for the picking.

Perhaps there would be no need for a Tragician blog if the seasoned professionals from Geelong, who've long since lost their reputation for quirky flakiness, had just played out their designated roles in this scenario. But of course they defeated us. We buckled yet again on the big stage; the men from Geelong went on to win another flag.

But all this is the past (do I hear you say it would be, if I didn't keep bringing it up). In a bracing pep talk, I remind myself that Bevo Our Saviour undoubtedly has strategies in place to counter the Curse of the Cats. Sure, he's said he has no plans to tag Dangerfield and Selwood (gulp), but he's just foxing, right?

I rummage for a few more points on the 'hope' side of the ledger: many of our tormentors of the past are retired (half of them are actually Bulldog coaching assistants; surely they are able to help Bevo plot and scheme their former team's downfall).

And are Geelong really travelling that well? They have lost this year to Carlton (smirk) and Collingwood (outright chuckle). Maybe they've reverted to that quirky flakiness again.

As for Dangerfield and Selwood; well, we've got a more than handy midfield too. Maybe THEIR fans are sitting anxiously on the train journey to Melbourne, wringing their hands, asking each other in slightly hysterical tones: Let's hope Chris Scott has got a plan to counter Bont and String. SURELY we've got a plan for Bont and String??